Today is turning into a good day

After the stresses of the last few days the universe seems to be making it up to me! My opks that where meant to turn up two days too late for me to use, turned up yesterday afternoon so I can start using them on Sunday, and hubby has his doctors appointment, and its on the 1st of July so no where near an 8 week wait and to top it off we're heading down to NYC for a fun, sunny weekend! Yay! For once everything seems to be going my way!

Tonight is going to be my first attempt at a fertility friendly, Indian feast, lots of nuts, veg, coconut oil, and other good for you yummy things. I'm quite excited but slightly nervous that it'll all go wrong, but since the universe is being good to me today, I'm sure it'll come out semi well, and if not hubby will still eat it, he'll eat anything bless him! So off to the supermarket to stock up on herbs and spices, wish me luck!

8 Weeks

So, hubby came home last night looking pleased with himself. He'd phoned the doctors, yay!! But he can't have an appointment for 8 weeks, bugger. I was prepared for the 4 week wait, but 8?? What are the doctors doing that would prevent them seeing a patient for 8 weeks? And even worse he doesn't actually have an appointment, just the promise that he should have one. urgh. So looks like we're in for a long wait before we can get his SA done. I don't think hubby understands why I find this so upsetting, he's quite happy to wait the 8 weeks, but for me its yet another hurdle and two months lost, two months where we could of been finding out what the problem is and fixing it.

At least ovulation is getting closer, only 8 days to go, so its time to relax, try to forget about everything that's stressing me out (easier said then done) and just enjoy the process. Although I really don't expect we'll catch this cycle, stranger things have happened.

I Hate Facebook

There's some days you wake up and wonder why the hell your putting yourself though all this heartache. Today is one of those days. Normally I'm full of optimism, it will work, we'll get our BFP (big fat positive), we will get our little bundle of joy. But today everything just seems bleak and my mood is not helped by Facebook. For some reason, as soon as you start trying to procreate, every person you have ever known also tries and beats you to it. At one point in the past year I had no less then 12 people at some stage of pregnancy, and although I was happy for them, the green eyed monster did come out to play. Today when I logged on, just about my entire feed has been taken up with scan/new born/toddler photos and multiple status updates relating to pregnancy, ugh, I've had enough of this now, I officially HATE Facebook.

Hubby is also not helping my mood today, guess what? He didn't phone the doctors, big surprise, his wussy side took over so he 'forgot' to phone. Lets see if the big sad eyes I gave him this morning help keep it fresh in his memory.

Doctors

I've given hubby a mission today, I've supplied him with the phone number of a doctors surgery, the questions to ask (are they taking on new patients and do they take our insurance) and the dates he needs to book his appointment. Normally this would seem like a simple task, one phone call and its sorted, but hubby has quite a strong aversion to doctors, which is understandable, I'm not fond of them myself, so this simple task becomes a much harder one. He knows how important getting an SA is, and he wants one done, he just doesn't want to get the results, which makes things tricky! So I will just have to wait and see if he plucks up the courage to phone them or wusses out like a big....wussy thing (I was never very good at similes!)

On a happy note though, it looks like we may be heading down to The City for the weekend. Hubby came home last night and told me he's been asked to help out with a work thing and asked if I fancied making a weekend of it, um yes!! Silly question really! What would I rather, stay home or go to the big city, staying in a fully paid for hotel, eating nice food I don't have to cook, and going round some of the best shops in the world! Although I guess that means I should get on with that large pile of washing so I actually have something to wear in public...   

Project Relaxation

As we get closer to the fun part of the cycle (the only part where we have some sort of say as to what happens) I'm doing my best to keep us both as relaxed as possible. It really shouldn't be that hard, our day to day lives don't contain much stress, we live in a beautiful home and its currently hot and sunny outside. But TTC seems to bring its own stresses, have we done enough? What if it doesn't work this time? Will it ever work? And now we have the added stress of going to the doctors.

For me, I've accepted for awhile that it was going to come down to this, the appointments been made for weeks and I kinda know what to expect, but for hubby (who isn't the best at going to doctors at the best of times) this is a whole new level of terror for him. At the moment he isn't even signed up with a gp so first things first we need to find a doctor who is taking on patients and get him signed up. Then we can get him the all important appointment. Ideally this would be done asap but he's going away for work for two weeks and before then I need him in a calm state of mind for baby making so it looks like his appointment can't be until the end of June. This seems like forever away but its only four weeks, and since I think this may be a long journey, whats four weeks in the grand scheme of things?

So for now its time to concentrate on relaxation, I've been around the house and replaced every scented object with a calming scent, so we now have lavender hand soap, shower gel, room spray, scented plug ins, washing up liquid, deodorant, floor cleaner, as well as some lovely scented candles. It should be impossible to not feel relaxed in our house at the moment! The weather seems to be joining me on my mission as well, who can't help but feel happy when the sun is shinning and the birds are tweeting? Next it'll be time to crack out the relaxation cd's and think happy thoughts, and then see how long it takes hubby to realise anythings changed! 

Cycle 11

So we are now onto cd 2 of cycle 11. Yesterday was a bit of a blow as cycle 10 seemed so promising, me and hubby both got our hopes up, only to have them dashed yet again. But onward and upward, I'm a girl on a mission to get us both relaxed and in the best baby making shape we can be, so for this cycle here's the plan:

 Healthy eating - lots of fruit, veg and nuts, cutting out processed carbs (white bread, pasta etc) and switching to whole grains.

Less DTD (doing the deed) - this may sound strange when you think the more sperm the better, but sperm are meant to be at their best every 3 days so we'll be timing our baby dancing around that.

Men's multi vitamins and macca for hubby - he's been taking the multi vits for awhile now, don't know if they're helping or not but there's no harm in it. The macca is a new addition, it should increase quantity and quality so we'll see if it does anything.

Prenatal vitamins, starflower oil, bee pollen, royal jelly and vit b complex - these are all for me (I know, I rattle when I walk!) the prenatals are important to keep me in good shape for conceiving and carrying our baby, the star flower is only taken up to ovulation and helps with cervical mucus (cm - very important to help those swimmers along). The bee pollen and royal jelly are both meant to help with egg quality, and better eggs are always good, and finally the vit b complex is a good all rounder, helping with ovulation and the luteal  phase (lp).

Preseed - this is a fertility friendly lube that can help make a friendly environment for sperm and help them on their way.

Clear blue advanced digital ovulation predictor kit (opks) - I love these things, they give you a low, high or peak fertility reading to show when's the best time to dtd according to when the eggs going to pop!

Basal body temperature (bbt) charting - I've been doing this since November, you take your temp every morning before you get up and chart it on a website called fertility friend, for the first half of your cycle your temps will be low then when ovulation occurs there will be a temp spike and your bbt will then remain high until the end of your cycle.

And the most important one of all: relaxation - I think we both have been stressing out a little over the last few months, but as we'll soon be in the hands of the doctor its time to take a step back and just relax!

So that's the plan, I don't know if any of it will make a difference but you never know, but for now I'm off to find chocolate, the healthy eating can start tomorrow....   

Welcome to the blog

Welcome to my first blog, I don't expect anyone will ever read this except me but I need to get it all down and maybe one day it'll help someone else going through this.

We have been trying now for a year to start our little family but so far no success, and as I'm sure all couples do when they reach this point, we've started to worry, why isn't it working, whats wrong with us?

Well hopefully soon we'll get some answers, I've got my first drs appointment on the 12th June where I'm sure I'll get poked and prodded, but right now I'll do anything if it will one day help us get our baby.