To tell or not to tell?

With the looming diagnosis of IF on the horizon I've started to wonder if we should tell family and close friends. On the one hand, if it does turn out that there's something wrong and operations or IVF is needed then the support of our nearest and dearest would be wonderful, but on the other hand, having to explain that we're having problems conceiving and letting everyone into our most intimate times is very daunting. At the moment only a handful of friends know we've been trying to conceive and only three of them know we're starting fertility testing. So far the three I've told have been great and I think they'll be very supportive throughout this journey, I do have some amazing friends!

Of course my other option is pouring my heart out on internet forums. I have been a member of one well known baby forum for the last year, and although there has been some ups and downs overall its been a good experience. But there are a few things that bug me now we've been at this game for awhile. For starters every few weeks there will be a 'how long did it take you to get a bfp' thread which seem to be a magnet for everyone to brag how they got knocked up on the first try, reading through those you feel like some barren freak for not falling by your 3rd month of trying. Then we have the 'I've been trying for 3 months but not pregnant, what's wrong with me?' threads where ladies think that if you don't get pregnant the first time you do it without protection then there must be something wrong with you and start demanding tests and even clomid from their doctors. Although I sympathize with them, we all want it to happen as soon as possible, you have to be realistic, it can take up to a year for a healthy couple and even up to two years for some, so yes it sucks, but trust me it can suck a whole lot more. I have found myself starting to move away from the generic TTC forums and move onto the infertility ones, its quite nice not to be one of the oldies that just hangs around while everyone comes, gets their bfps and leaves again. I can also talk to people in a similar situation and mine the knowledge of ladies who have been through it all.

So I think for the time being we'll keep the 'inner circle' as it is, maybe we'll tell others if the situation changes and we find we need more support but for now I'll make do with the few friends and the anonymous people who live in internet land.